The story is well known. Prophet Ibraheem looked to the starsand turned to them as god. However, they were eclipsed by the brightness of the moon, so he turned to the moon as god. The sun then rose and eclipsed all of them in brightness. Later the sun set and he said “I love not that which sets.” It was then Allah spoke to him.
I find myself in a similar situation. I lived in the Tampa Bay Area for 15 years out of my 20 years as best as I can count. In a few weeks, I will have to leave and I will do so with a heavy heart. I’m going to Damascus for the Summer and then Tallahassee for Law School. I don’t know if I will ever come back to live here. Certainly I will visit my family and friends and I will do my best to keep in touch. This is the nature of the dunya. Everything sets except Allah. “Everything is fleeting and the countenance of your Lord shall remain.” What I should be doing is submitting myself to Allah’s will (the meaning of Islam) and accept the path Allah has put me on without turning back. However, my heart, by its weakness, is attached to other than Allah and does not rely on Him to take me to the best way. Allah promised in various points in the Quran that he will have mercy upon the believers. My lack of trust in Him is terrible adab, even sinful. It is attached to the sense of normalcy that I have developed. It is attached to that which will inevitably set, unlike Allah for nothing is anything like Him. I fear for myself when Allah will move me from this world to the next. If I become anxious about moving four hours away, how will I feel when I move a whole dimension! Learn this lesson from my mistake so you do not repeat it!
I ask everyone who reads this to make dua’ that Allah make my heart turn to nothing but Him, that Allah cure our hearts of its diseases and encompass us in His mercy, that we cross over the Sirat with ease, and that we are finally reunited with Allah’s beloved messenger where we will be allowed to drink a sip from the hawd from his blessed hand.